In my younger years, I had my own dogs and knew little about them at the time. Through volunteering at an animal shelter, I gained a ton more experience with dogs, fellow volunteers and adopters. I soon became a dog trainer, here in Parrish, FL and was able to work with a lot of different people and their dogs. In recent years, I’ve noticed an alarming trend in something that the majority of them share with me.
My phone conversations with clients as well as people just calling for more information all seem to start the same way… “My dog is spoiled”, or some version of that statement. I also hear this statement a lot whenever people are boasting about their dog or explaining their life with their dog.
However; it all seems to end the same way. A phone call to me whether it be professional, or someone getting advice, or a friend of a friend that just doesn’t know what else to do. Why I get that phone call is usually because the owner is experiencing some unwanted issue from their dog that is altering their life in a negative way. The list usually includes any or all of the following, taking food from the hands of their children, counter surfing, acting crazy in the house, leaping over the furniture, knocking the kids over, lunging on walks and even biting, whether it be the owners or other dogs. These are all things I get phone calls about, and they all start the same way… “Well my dog is spoiled”.
In many cases I almost feel as if it is a positive quality in their eyes, but it is what is actually what is causing the majority of their problems. I’m not quite sure when spoiling our dogs became a right to brag. They eat the best food, they are given all kinds of human food, have extremely expensive beds (or sleep in ours), have sweaters that are more expensive than most of our wardrobes combined. They are afforded the opportunity to come and go as they please on our beds and couches, or leap over them at will. They tell us what they want, when they want it, and how they want it and what does all this lead to? Well, in my experience a dog that owns the owner. Believe it or not, but your dog doesn’t want to act crazy in the house or on walks, it is just what they are used to doing because they don’t know any different.
Believe it or not, your dog doesn’t like that feeling of being crazy, even though to us humans we like to think that that is just our dog’s expression of being “happy”. In actuality, it is a sign of anxiety. Imagine if we all acted on every whim or impulse and functioned at that level of “happy” every day. Well, a lot more of us would probably be on medication or institutionalized. So why is it ok for our dogs to be like this? Well, it’s not. Dogs want to know what to do, they want direction, they want a job and they want to make you happy. Dogs are happy when they have rules and structure, and they are much less stressed or anxious as well.
Humans tend to see this state of mind as their dog being “sad” or “mopey”, well I as well as many other trainers and professionals see it as a healthy state of mind. Now, don’t get me wrong, my dogs are allowed on my bed and my couch, but when they are invited. They don’t have the right to use my things as a jungle gym, they didn’t work hard for my stuff, I did. Your dogs didn’t earn the money to pay for your couch, you did. They didn’t buy that awesome leather leash, you did. They didn’t work overtime so that they can have a great dog bed (that they never lay on because your bed is way better), you did. So why should they be spoiled and entitled to abuse, eat, chew or destroy your stuff. Well they shouldn’t! But unfortunately, your dog doesn’t know any better unless you tell them. So you know that saying, “it is all fun and games until someone gets hurt”, well that can apply here. Except that someone getting hurt can be you or your dog! So in most cases spoiling your dog is only an issue, until it is an issue. But why wait, why give it a chance to see if it does become an issue.
Why not just start right and from the beginning, or now, it’s never too late. It is always easier to give more freedom and loosen up on your rules after they are clearly defined and established, but it is much harder to take things back, or fix things once are now a huge problem. I don’t know about you, but I would like to do the work up front and less work to maintain the status quo and be happier with the results. Why fix a problem when you can just keep it from happening. It is actually much less work to do things this way instead of dealing with the issues after the fact. Our dogs don’t want a friend, they want a leader. I know many of us would not throw our 9 year old children out into the world to fend for themselves and find their way without some guidance from us. We are leaders to our children so that we can ensure that they grow up and can make good decisions. We lead by example (or try our best to) so that they may learn how to make good decisions. Will they stumble along the way, sure, but we are there to lead them and show them how. So, why would it be any different for our dogs? They’re kind of like little children running amuck until they are shown and told the right way to do things.
So instead of saying “my dogs are spoiled” we should start to brag about what a good leader we are and that is why our dogs can be afforded so many great privileges in their life, because they earned it! Think about this, how much have you really valued something you were just handed? How much have you valued something that you had to work your butt off to get and earned because of that hard work? Why should it be any different for your dog?
